That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
