so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize