is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
