What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
