Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
