Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
