Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
