watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
