Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
