Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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