i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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