He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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