Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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