Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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