life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
