laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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