I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
