is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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