your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Randomize
