I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
