don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
