i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize