Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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