oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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