This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
