If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
