Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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