Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
