if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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