If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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