I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
