my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
