drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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