if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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