I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize