is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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