There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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