She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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