Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
