Too much gin, very little bucket
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
