I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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