this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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