I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Randomize
