She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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