Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
