You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i already hear my dad disowning me
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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