So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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