she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
