Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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