I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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