They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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