i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
