8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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