I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
