The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
