No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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