he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
