I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
