have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize