he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
