i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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