It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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