wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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