Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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